Dad, Paddler, DJ, MC, Picture Taker, Traveller. Telling stories one adventure at a time
I am a mobile disc jockey, planner, master of ceremonies, scouter, and dad in O'Fallon, Missouri! see also Elkhorn, Nebraska / Indianapolis Indiana / Dubuque, Iowa. I believe in love, and the oxford comma.
The Chris Rock’s “Selective Outrage” special on Netflix is amazing. I got to watch this material twice live, in the past year. Once with Chris in concert shortly after the Oscar incident. Thanks to Dave Chappelle’s airplane issues, I got to see almost the complete set again in January. So last night was amazing. I am definitely going to watch it again.
The order and pace has changed quite a bit. The themes have tighten up. The call backs are all locked in.
I am not going to spoiler it. Go watch.
Here is what I will say.
Practice Makes Perfect
Chris Rock is one of the best in the business. Chris Rock last year was a great show. Chris Rock last month was a better show. Chris Rock last night was even better. He has worked and worked and tightened and trimmed and rewrote and revised to get the show last night.
Chappelle and Michael Che’ were talking about the Netflix special on Thursday night like they had visited a Heavy Weight training camp getting ready for a title fight. Very Apropos. No puns intended.
My friend Bill Herman tells a story about visiting a club in Detroit with BB King hosting and then Aretha dropped by for a couple of songs. My brother and his lovely wife got to see Alanis Morisette live in a tiny club at the exact moment she could sell out a stadium.
I have been to New York three times, not for very long and not without multiple competing agendas. It seems like all the cool comedy clubs are far, far away. All the cool touristy stuff in the middle of Manhattan island. All the cool comedy clubs seems to be a block apart at the bottom of the island. Like 40 blocks. at least. Far.
So I found myself with no obligations on Thursday night in midtown Manhattan. I watched the Singing Hoosiers backing up my amazingly talented niece in a transcendent performance at New York Society for Ethical Culture. Dined with my amazing sister in law at David Chang’s Momofuko Noodle Bar. I should have just called it a night and went to sleep.
I got on a the 1 subway and rode all the way to the bottom of Manhattan. Arrived about 11pm. I bought a ticket to the bringer show at Grzly Pear, just in case and kept going up the block. If you have watched comedy on television or television about comedy, you have seen the Comedy Cellar. From street level, the sign is about waist high and there is a staircase leading down. The bouncer let me know that the doors weren’t open yet, but the 11:30 show was sold out. There was a standby line around the corner. So I went around the corner.
The ticketed line was already forming to the right. The standby line was eight people deep. The first person in the standby line reported that she saw/heard Dave Chappelle enter earlier. She had been waiting in line since the 9:30pm show. God Bless and keep this dear woman.
It was her, this big group of guys, Other Guy and me. So I just hung out at the front and talked to everybody until the line started to get serious. Then I went to dip back into my spot the Other Guy was gone. WTF? So I started talking the flight attendants who according to my line rules were immediately behind me. Other Guy shows back up with slices for the flight attendants and himself. Other Guy was awesome. Like a younger Keith Richards/Hunter Thompson funny, drug fueled bi-coastal probably bi-polar world traveler stories. The standby line was now down the block.
We had to bag our phones and smart watches. I ended up sitting next to Other Guy. I wish I had brought pen and paper, but it wouldn’t have worked because I couldn’t see to read or write. The Comedy Cellar is very dark, very low ceilinged, very packed. The sound system is turned up to 11. The speakers are always in compression. In other words, AWESOME. Exactly, what I expected but more.
You don’t realize how often and how useful your phone is until you need it to read a menu. If you plan a visit, look at the menu ahead of time or bring a flashlight.
The regular show was great. The highlight was Dulce’ Sloan. She has a great hunk on bad boyfriends. I am very interested in seeing her next special. It was an absolute highlight.
The guy from this Progressive commercial was extremely funny.
It’s frankly hard to keep track without notes. I listen to two stand-up comedian podcasts twice a week and didn’t know hardly anybody. There was a guy pretending to be Norwegian or Danish who had a lot of time to limp through some marginal jokes. Probably the next Andy Kaufman, but not how I would have spent my time.
According to the internet, a regular Comedy Cellar show is about 1 hour 15 minutes. Some percentage of the audience knew there was a buzz in the air. Apparently, not everybody got the message. About the time my butt was getting tired, more people started filtering in. A few people got their checks and left. Some dude in a Kool Mo Dee hat walked by a couple of times. I think I saw Wanda Sykes briefly. Dulce Sloan was still around.
Then the host comes up and says we have one last comedian tonight… Make some noise. Dave Chappelle. The whole room went deafening. Up on stage, was Dave Chappelle.
Sometimes I forget to mention that I am one lucky SOB.
It was awesome. After a bit, he invited Michael Che from Saturday Night Live up to join him. They riffed. Michael has a very public day job. David is very publicly self-employed. They covered a lot of ground with that dramatic tension between Michael keeping his day job. Funny.
Dave’s special guest was Posdnuos from De La Soul. De La Soul was supposed to be celebrating the rights to their music this weekend. They instead had to merge the celebrations with a memorial for Trugoy (David Jude Jolicoeur) who had passed on February 12th. De La Soul had been denied the right to share in the profits from their work for a really long time. This is an issue very close to Chappelle’s heart. Chappelle doesn’t currently have control over the distribution of the Chappelle Show.
I listened to the NPR Fresh Air podcast with De La Soul on the flight into LaGuardia. The first song I played while test driving MrsJonTheBruce’s new airpods was De La Soul’s “The Magic Number”.
De La Soul had an important moment in my early DJ career. They were fun, danceable, and not gangster. They could fit in a set with Arrested Development and Black Sheep and Dee-lite and Steve Miller and the Animal House Soundtrack. Back in the day. I remember my astonishment a few years ago in Hawaii when De La came on the speakers at Target. So random. A nice reminder of how wonderful their music is.
Busta Rhymes was in the room too!
Busta- Make it Clap
The Guy in the Whodini hat is D-Nice
I hate to name drop but,
There were several other DJs in the room where it happened. DJ Clark Kent, Stretch Armstrong. I might have been the oldest by a couple of years, except for those two. Chappelle was born in 1973. So he probably didn’t get to attend Swatch Watch presents New York City Fresh Festival with Run D.M.C., Kurtis Blow, Whodini, The Fat Boys, and Newcleus. My little brother did because somebody else bailed on their ticket because “take it from me mom’s just don’t understand”.
I am old AF.
So when I rolled out onto the mean streets of NYC at 3:45 in the morning I was ready to sleep, but also aware that I might be murdered at any point in time. The doorman was really tremendously pleasant and helpful. He gave me enough information to get home with a dying phone and no previous experience. I ended up getting a cab from 3rd Street to 54th and Broadway for $20 cash. #capitalism
You might get fooled if you come from out of town But I’m down by law and I know my way around.
New York, New York Song by Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five
Run Buy It Now! An immersion blender. Mrs and I are messing around with Thanksgiving food today. I made mashed potatoes in the instant pot. The immersion blender creamed the potatoes instantly with no effort. Here is the one I bought.
Hamilton Beach 59765 Immersion Hand Blender with Blending Wand, Whisk and 3-Cup Food Chopping Bowl, 3-Piece, Silver and Stainless Steel https://a.co/d/461CgKX
Regular Mashed Potatoes
Four large baking potatoes halves then 1/2 chunks
1/2 stick of butter
1/4 cup of sour cream
Salt & pepper
Throw potatoes in instant pot
Cover with water
High for 10 minutes, instant release
Dump water, return to instant pot
I put most of the butter on the bottom to melt
Immersion blender the taters
Sour cream, salt and pepper to taste
Plant based mashed potatoes
Steal a cup and half of potatoes from above
Tablespoon of minced garlic from the Costcos
Salt and Pepper to taste
Next time I would probably throw the garlic in a skillet first, add some green onions.
I bought new long sleeve technical shirts on my trip this year. My weight has topped out near the all time high. I have a stack of XXL, but they are bunchy. I bought three in Portland. I bought two more online when I got home. They had a really nice Cardinal Red, which are rare. I only have one other and it came with a St. Louis Cardinal’s logo and was pricey.
I have been poking around the internet, because someone can make custom shirts.
Here is my breakdown of what makes a good long sleeve technical shirt. I will be standing by for an invite from Ma Boyle.
My Perfect Shirt
Button Down Collar is required. I have a couple that have a double collar that unrolls. Pretty nice. I probably would not add that feature in my perfect shirt.
This is the top back of the shirt. Most technical shirts have a mesh inside with vents. No velcro should be anywhere near this area. No gussets. No Billows. No mystery place to accidently put your arm when putting the shirt on.
The Placket is the front of the shirt. Simple is better.
The breast Pockets
A Single button-down, Non-gusseted breast pocket on each side. It would be better if they were just decorative. The point of the pockets is to minimize the nipples.
The Buttons and Buttonholes
I need an extra button hole south of the collar button. Most of the time buttons are evenly spaced. I think there has to be a option between Disco Steve and Button Up to the Neck. I need a middle option. I want to see a version of shirt buttons using the golden ratio or something.
Regular fit, longer like a dress shirt. I need to bend over with this shirt.
I need a tailor to explain what darts might accomplish.
I like a good roll up sleeve. They don’t stay rolled up. This is where I want my science dollars spent.
I like two button cuffs.
Regular fit, longer like a dress shirt. I need to bend over with this shirt.
Here is the Review that Started This…
Men’s PFG Bahama™ II Long Sleeve Shirt – Big
The Headline – Pretty nice choice from VERY LIMITED OPTIONS.
I moved up to 3x. This is basically the only option. I like the colors, Red, White and the darker grey. Basically the best color options I have found in ages. I would like button down breast pockets. They aren’t available. The collar buttons down. I like that. The sleeves roll up with loops. That is great. Bonus pockets on the breast pockets are unnecessary. Gussets on pockets are unnecessary. I own about 30 Columbia Long Sleeve technical shirts in a couple of different styles.
Gun Stuff – Don’t come crying to me when your vehicle is robbed. If you advertise that your vehicle is full of guns, everyone who can read can figure this out.
Dope Culture – Don’t come crying to me when your vehicle is searched and seized by the cops. There are still states with cops enforcing drugs laws.
Ghost Hunting – unless you are driving the Ectomobile from Ghostbusters or the Mystery Machine from Scoobie Doo… just don’t. I am going to assume that you have never heard of pareidolia or dust. Grow up.
Zombie Hunter – Zombie stuff is usually on a crap car that needs skateboard stickers. Occasionally, it shows up on nicer rides. End Times Toyotas and Mall Crawlers. I like zombie movies as much as the next guy, but limits. Grow up.
Politics – I can usually figure out your politics based on the car you drive. If you are driving a car that doesn’t match your politics, you shouldn’t be wasting money on bumper stickers. Grow up.
If I had a dollar for every rooftop tent, I saw this trip, I would have enough money to strap a rooftop tent on my own truck. But I wouldn’t because they aren’t aerodynamic and most of the time they are overloading the base vehicle or at the very least increasing the tip over risk of your Jeep.
Sprinters have a lot of ways to strap your gear to the outside. When I am king of the world, you will only be able to strap one sport to your sprinter at a time. They now make Surf and Paddle Boards racks that hang on the side of your already super wide Sprinter.
Tailgate Cargo Carriers
This is another winning option, if you want to overload the rear suspension AND ruin the handling of your ride. This is a great place to start. A loaded, big cooler can weight 300 pounds. Hanging that weight at the far end of the ride can really mess up your handling. If the back of the car looks like a low rider and the front looks ready to hop off the road, you are not doing this right.
Jerry Cans/Water Cans
Water weighs 9.71 pounds per gallon. Not aerodynamic.
I love recovery tools. I keep mine inside my vehicle.
I am pro-bike. I like the tailgate pads for bikes.
I love kayaks. I don’t like to see kayaks poised to leap from the roof of your vehicle.
it all matters
Total Vehicle Weight and Aerodynamics are related to Fuel efficiency. This summer gas prices were crazy. We were getting around 28mpg in a Toyota Highlander Hybrid.
Do your own research. The more crap you hang off your vehicle weighs it down and makes it less aerodynamic.
A 2022 fresh off the floor, four cylinder Jeep Wrangler is getting 29 mpg highway. A 2022 Toyota Tacoma is getting 23 highway. Those are just advertised.
I have two Jansport Euro Saks that are around 20 years old and still awesome.
I have another six bags to replace them with that I use when ever I change things.
This trip I was carrying
The North Face Base Camp Voyager Duffel – 62 L – as my clothes storage, we packed like nine days worth of clothes, and we had to dress up a couple of times. This was a big trip and
Timbuk2 – Classic Messenger Bag – which is pretty much my default weekend, overnight, laptop, EDC and a
Golite 28L – for rain gear and down jackets, and empty it is a daypack and a
A dry bag just in case I got on the water. An inexpensive dry bag is also awesome for trash and recycling cans on a roadtrip. An inexpensive dry bag is also awesome for washing clothes on the road. Really awesome. Maybe better than a sink. I am really quite pleased that I figured this out. Put a little Dr. Bronners in there. Put some water in there. wash, rinse, repeat. I dry stuff by rolling it in a towel. I think it it less messy than trying to process a couple of days of clothes in a sink or tub. Certainly uses less water.
We have a Yeti Hopper BackFlip 24 Soft Sided Backpack Cooler that sits in the backseat for beverages and snacks. I don’t know if they are still made. Mrs. Jon Bruce Entertainment found it at an REI garage sale. She is a genius. It is hands down the best back seat cooler ever. It replaced an RTIC soft side with the worst zipper in the entire world.
I have two Snack Bags. They are both ridiculous. I am embarrassed to even mention the brands. Every extra reusable grocery bag will do the same quality of job. Fine.
Black Hole 25L Tote which I got an a garage sale and a
Northface tote that was VERY reasonably priced and I use it every week for groceries. Don’t let people tell you I am not having fun.
I have arrived at an age where my pants don’t stay up. Any time I hold an object in my hands heavier than a coke can, my core contracts and my pants fall immediately to my ankles.
I think this lack of a ledge to support my pants is genetic. I was helping my dad move a large piece of furniture recently. By the time, we had lifted it, our shorts were at ankle height. We waddled the furniture to its new location.
I embarked on a three part, long range mission.
One – Find a better belt.
Two – Wear shorts that stay up more readily
Three – Carry less stuff
Part One – Find a better belt
I really feel like my page formatting calls for a paragraph here. For continuity.
The Current Belt – Bison Belts
I have used Bison Belts for a long time. They come in many shapes and sizes, but basically they are all nylon webbing belts with an Aluminum D ring friction buckle. Infinitely adjustable. The issue is that the friction lock or the webbing starts slipping after a while. You can tighten it up when you need to “get some work done” or loosen it when you are trying to finish that Tomahawk steak, but not a lot of in between. https://bisondesigns.com/
This is literally the best option I have found. I have a closet of Bison belts. I need to work on my weight and my core and do some butt exercises. In the mean time….
The Next Belt – Off Brand Stretchy, but similar
I did another round of research recently. I found a belt with similar features and a bit of stretch.
Hoanan D-ring Tactical Belt, 2 Pack Elastic Stretch Military EDC Heavy Duty Belt. Here is an ad to shop at Amazon for which I will receive nothing…
It probably won’t last as long as the Bison Belts, but it works. It has a little “give” to it. It passes the hold a Diet Coke can at arms length test. You can adjust it on the fly. The elastic gives it a little more hold. There is a gap between getting ready for your pants to fall to your ankles and the moment your pants fall to your ankles. This belt when tightened to carrying and object in from of you tolerances will hold a lightly loaded pair of shorts up for most of the trip.
I went down the Grip6 rabbit hole. Basically, a web belt with interchangeable buckles. They don’t tension very well compared to Bison. They don’t “stretch” Nope.
This is advertised to people like me on Facebook. It doesn’t work very well. It is elastic, but it wants to be pre-tensioned all the time. It also doesn’t cross your pants button/snap which is asking for a lot from the the most tenuous part of holding up your pants. Belt loops are for looping belts not pre-tensioning a Velcroed bungee strap. The Button on my jeans and pants are attached with a gossamer strand of hope.
I should have done some more research. I was a little overly enthusiastic about this one. Don’t bother.
I also bought a pair of suspenders. I don’t like them either. They work great it you are always doing the one thing they are adjusted to do. Sitting, standing, bending; choose one. Mrs. JonTheBruce found them hilarious when I was wearing them.
Part Two – The Death of Cargo Shorts
Last year, I started moving away from Cargo Shorts. It has been a long time coming. Me and Cargo Shorts have done some stuff. I bought multiple pairs of board shorts or stretchy shorts from Costco. Board shorts are usually quick drying. Cargo Shorts are usually cotton. Board Shorts have minimal pockets. Cargo shorts have plenty of extra pockets for carrying crap.
The Costco shorts don’t last forever. This year they had O’Neil board shorts in limited sizes that I couldn’t squeeze my butt into. I found extended sizes at Amazon from Quiksilver. Quiksilver Union Amphibian Hybrid shorts. So that is what I am rocking this summer. I really want to like these, but one pair is piling like my grandma’s velour after two weeks.
I can’t figure out pronouns. I get tripped up by the language of inclusion. Maybe dropping the cargo shorts are my ally move. Also, I make a conscious effort to carry less crap in my pockets, so don’t read too much into it.
Three – Carry less stuff EDC
Here is my Every Day Carry
Apple Phone 13 Pro
Bose SoundSport Wireless NFC Earphones In Ear Bluetooth Headphones – I really like these a lot. Wireless but attached to each other, so when one falls out, the other might hold long enough to catch it.
On the road, I talk to myself. Usually silently, sometimes quietly. Sometimes I use my hands or head or face to make a point or draw a conclusion (while talking to myself). Mrs. JonTheBruce always asks me what I am doing. I find these interruptions VERY annoying. Rather than start a days long fight, I tried a different tactic this trip. I answered her honestly. Told her what I was thinking about, sometimes I even told the truth. Made things less fighty and more productive.
Getting ready to write
I usually take contemporaneous notes, like FBI Director James Comey, during the course of trip day. Or try to jot down some stuff that forms an outline to write around when I am ready. This trip, Summer 2022, is that. I broke some stories or hunks on the road. Mostly I am using my jotted notes as stems to filling in the missing words based on my notes. I think publishing at the end of the night before going to bed is more gonzo, more real, more urgent.
Mrs. JonTheBruce is a big fan of sleeping and doesn’t enjoy the clicking of keyboards. Merryweather is a much sounder sleeper. Adjust according to your environment.
Making notes on the road from the passenger seat is ok with the onscreen keyboard. Not advised from the drivers seat.
The drivers seat
My Overland Rig, the F150, has Apple CarPlay and you can talk to it. It takes dictation. IOS speech to text is pretty great. You can answer the phone and carry on a conversation with people.
The Toyota Highlander has the worst piece of crap built in microphone imaginable. It’s been a total pain in the ass. I didn’t realize how bad until I had my phone hooked up to the car and tried to use it. Mrs. JonTheBruce and I have had many, many failed conversations over the last 4 years because of the Toyota Highlander microphone failings.
In the Highlander, I had to disconnect the phone from the car via bluetooth then use the built in mic or connect my Bose Headset (which works great) to use speech to text. Even worse, the Toyota has the most aggressive automatic connect I have ever seen. It is like the car has the psychic ability to automatically ruin a phone call by connecting automagically to Bluetooth.
At the desk
I brought a MacBook for something else on this 2022 trip. Honestly, for the weight and bulk, I would rather have a wireless keyboard that works with my phone. The MacBook allowed me to deal with photos from the other cameras I brought, but I probably shouldn’t have brought them anyway. If you are bringing extra cameras, why not throw another couple of G’s worth of computer into the back of your car. It’s super secure. You would need a rock or a stick to break in and grab all the stuff. You can also haul all that gear into a hotel room every night. It’s just another bag. More stuff, doesn’t make me less crazy. When it comes to keeping my sanity and keeping track of stuff on the road. Less is more.
Use the iPhone with a Bluetooth keyboard
My current favorite is the Logitech K380 79-Key Compact Multi-Device Wireless Bluetooth.
It works great and packs small. It has a physical, sliding on/off switch. It takes AAA batteries. It is deviliciously simple to forget to pack though. Here is a link for which I will not be paid…
Skip the iPad. Skip the laptop. Pour the champagne. Pour the champagne.
I have been writing for a long time. I still wish I had a working copy of Wordperfect 4.2 at times. Here are the things that work for me.
I love Textpad on Windows. https://www.textpad.com/home I am still looking for something like it on Mac. Textpad is a barebones places to type words in a pleasing order. Not a lot of distractions. This is the way to get things done, when you might be tempted to adjust the type size or color or margins or ohhh. how about digging in the tab settings. The best trick I have for writing is to write with as few distractions as possible. Check out Textpad. Textpad also has really advanced search and replace functionality. Notepad++ is a decent backup choice.
I like textEdit on MacOS. Textedit comes with the MacBook. But make sure it doesn’t switch to Rich Text Format. I just spent 30 minutes using different tools to find a weird Carriage Return that was being treated like a line break in WordPress. Not cool. It hasn’t caused issues before now though.
I use Notes on the iPhone and MacBook and iPad (Cross Platform) for taking notes and writing hunks. Notes syncs across devices, so I can see them on the Mac or iPhone or iPad. This requires stable, working internet. Stable internet wasn’t a guarantee on this trip. Notes can also be used for writing. I swear I found an app I like for writing on an iPhone. I didn’t use it at all this trip and I don’t remember what it is called.
Gmail is pretty handy. Allegedly, there is an offline mode. I actually used Gmail for editing today. It is way more robust than notes or TextEdit or the WordPress editor. It caught stuff that I missed in WordPress. Pretty handy. I haven’t looked into how it would work with no internet.
[Just checked. Editted this story offline, in Chrome on Gmail. It works. Google Workspace. Pretty handy. I would still do the bulk of the writing locally, then copy and paste to edit in Gmail. Always back up. Always. Always. Always. Backup]
Notes is my ride or die cross platform. It is very handy to have all the notes on any of the devices I might be using at the moment. It works locally and syncs to my other devices. I use it for keeping track of shows we have watched. Recipes. Notes on writing. I have the measurement of things stored in case I need window curtains or a rug.
Microsoft Word still works. I am a Microsoft Word and Microsoft Office professional. This is my default choice when I need to do adult things seriously. I am trying to avoid subscriptions. I don’t need a ton of features to write words that will be published on a dedicated platform.
Apple Pages is part of the free iWork Suite that comes with Apple Proucts. It syncs across platforms. I should try it out. People have nice things to say about it.
Eliminate the Distractions
The apps I mentioned above are pretty distraction free. Just get the words down. Don’t get caught on procrastinating stuff. Things are never going to be perfect. The screen, your chair, your bullshit excuses aren’t getting you any closer to have written something.
It isn’t always easy. Hunter S. Thompson used to type out the words to Great Gatsby to get his fingers moving. They don’t have to perfect. They just have to get down on the page. You can fix them later. Keep practicing. I get stuck in the jazz of it. The rhythm, the flow, the haiku, the beat. Jack Kerouac’s “On The Road” has some of the finest strings of words, I have ever read. It is poetry that serves the narrative. At this age, I can deliver some ideas almost fully formed. Once they are down, they can almost always be made better. Sometimes worse. I get too close to ideas sometimes. I lose the thread. I think this is what my friends call “Being Jon Bruce”.
I am always looking for a great picture. Something that tells a story. A great moment. Photo Journalism Style. Sometimes, I see a moment that I want to capture, but don’t because it just isn’t my photo to take.
At Cheyenne Frontier Days, there was a grandma feeding her grandkids and some grateful, exasperated stranger mom’s hungry kids snacks. They were lined up on the top of the stands, adorable and happy. Very focus on snacks. I had a spark of inspiration. Rather than wheel around with my camera and intrude, I asked the grandma for her phone so I could take a picture. I wish that I could share that picture with you, but it is not mine. But it got taken and I feel better knowing it exists. C’est la vie!
Taking Pictures on the Road
Keep it simple. More cameras equals more complexity, more places for images, more images to process.
A modern, up to date, iPhone is a powerful camera and it makes videos and panoramic pictures and nice portraits. It also takes great selfies. It does amazing in low light.
After my 2022 trip, I processed, rated and reviewed more than 2500 pictures. I still have 1800 pictures from the iPhone and two Cannons.
98.54% iPhone Pictures
135 of 137 (98.54%) of the best pictures I took on this trip were iPhone pictures. 98.54%. This is because it was the only camera I carried ALL the time. This is also because the iPhone takes great pictures. Everybody has an iPhone. Camera gear looks expensive and can attract unnecessary attention.
If you need another camera, bring a friend with an iPhone. Lower your base weight. Friends can also haul camera bags. Probably not.
If you need a better camera, buy a new iPhone.
Unless, you are taking pictures that require special lenses.
Super Duper Telephoto
iPhone doesn’t do eagle photography. A Sigma 150-600mm would have been awesome in San Francisco when I was trying to take pictures of the wild parrots. Mrs. JonTheBruce got some decent iPhone pictures of the parrots because she could see them with her normal color vision. I couldn’t figure how to frame them, because I couldn’t see them in the trees. I would have done better with my giant camera, because I could zoom.
It might do hummingbird photography. I don’t have hummingbirds that like to get that close to me and stay still. I get great results with the same 150-600, but my cousins kid’s got an amazing picture free hand with an iPhone.
I got a lot of great pictures in the Redwoods with my Canon and a 10-18 wide angle lens. The whole series is Canon goodness. I don’t have any Apple pics to compare.