bumper stickers
Gun Stuff – Don’t come crying to me when your vehicle is robbed. If you advertise that your vehicle is full of guns, everyone who can read can figure this out.
Dope Culture – Don’t come crying to me when your vehicle is searched and seized by the cops. There are still states with cops enforcing drugs laws.
Ghost Hunting – unless you are driving the Ectomobile from Ghostbusters or the Mystery Machine from Scoobie Doo… just don’t. I am going to assume that you have never heard of pareidolia or dust. Grow up.
Zombie Hunter – Zombie stuff is usually on a crap car that needs skateboard stickers. Occasionally, it shows up on nicer rides. End Times Toyotas and Mall Crawlers. I like zombie movies as much as the next guy, but limits. Grow up.
Politics – I can usually figure out your politics based on the car you drive. If you are driving a car that doesn’t match your politics, you shouldn’t be wasting money on bumper stickers. Grow up.
Rooftop Tents
If I had a dollar for every rooftop tent, I saw this trip, I would have enough money to strap a rooftop tent on my own truck. But I wouldn’t because they aren’t aerodynamic and most of the time they are overloading the base vehicle or at the very least increasing the tip over risk of your Jeep.
Conspicuous Consumers
Sprinters have a lot of ways to strap your gear to the outside. When I am king of the world, you will only be able to strap one sport to your sprinter at a time. They now make Surf and Paddle Boards racks that hang on the side of your already super wide Sprinter.
Tailgate Cargo Carriers
This is another winning option, if you want to overload the rear suspension AND ruin the handling of your ride. This is a great place to start. A loaded, big cooler can weight 300 pounds. Hanging that weight at the far end of the ride can really mess up your handling. If the back of the car looks like a low rider and the front looks ready to hop off the road, you are not doing this right.
Jerry Cans/Water Cans
Water weighs 9.71 pounds per gallon. Not aerodynamic.
Recovery Tools
I love recovery tools. I keep mine inside my vehicle.
Bikes
I am pro-bike. I like the tailgate pads for bikes.
Kayaks
I love kayaks. I don’t like to see kayaks poised to leap from the roof of your vehicle.
it all matters
Total Vehicle Weight and Aerodynamics are related to Fuel efficiency. This summer gas prices were crazy. We were getting around 28mpg in a Toyota Highlander Hybrid.
Do your own research. The more crap you hang off your vehicle weighs it down and makes it less aerodynamic.
A 2022 fresh off the floor, four cylinder Jeep Wrangler is getting 29 mpg highway. A 2022 Toyota Tacoma is getting 23 highway. Those are just advertised.
Jon The Bruce 